Turning Conflict into Collaboration: 3 Steps to Resolving Conflict

Step 1: Acknowledge That There’s an Issue

The biggest mistake people make is pretending there isn’t a problem. Ignoring tension doesn’t make it go away; it just buries it until it surfaces somewhere else — usually louder.

Start by naming the fact that there is an issue. Don’t sweep it under the carpet, and don’t stick your head in the sand like an ostrich. Simply say, “Something doesn’t feel right here — can we talk it through?”

If the situation involves a power imbalance or feels beyond your experience, seek help from someone neutral and skilled — perhaps a manager, a mentor, or a HR professional. Conflict rarely improves in isolation; perspective helps.

Step 2: Separate Emotion from the Real Issue

Once everyone’s at the table, the goal is to understand what’s actually happening beneath the frustration. People often argue about a surface event — like a process change — but the real cause might be something deeper, such as a breakdown in communication or a breach of trust.

You might hear anger about what changed, when the true hurt comes from how it changed — without consultation or warning.

So, define the issue carefully and take emotion out of the centre. Listen with what I like to call “active listening ears” — not waiting for your turn to respond, but really hearing what’s being said (and unsaid).

Once you strip away the emotion, you often discover that the supposed issue isn’t the real one at all.

Step 3: Co-Create a Way Forward

Once you’ve clarified the true issue, finding a solution often becomes much easier.

Ask a simple question: “How could we have done this differently to avoid this situation?”

That question invites collaboration instead of blame. Often, the conversation leads to improvements that benefit everyone — better communication protocols, clearer processes, or a more inclusive approach to change.

Handled with calm and reason, conflict can actually strengthen your culture. It can reveal blind spots, tighten teamwork, and make your systems more robust than before.

Final Thought

Conflict isn’t a failure of leadership; it’s a normal part of human collaboration. The skill lies in recognising it early, addressing it clearly, and using it to create something stronger than what existed before.

When you manage it with a clear and reasonable head, conflict stops being a drain on energy — and becomes a tool for growth, trust, and continuous improvement.

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